What is Therapy and How to Find a Good Therapist?
What is Therapy and How to Find a Good Therapist?
Since my page is all about Wellbeing and Therapy it’s time to tackle the Therapy part. So what is a therapy?
Therapy is a process. It’s a healing process or goal orientated process. There are many types and forms of therapy. Some have very fancy words, some seem more intuitive and others are more straightforward and logical.
Therapy gives you time and space to process your thoughts and feelings in order to feel better. You come to the therapist and decide what you want to work on, what are your difficulties and priorities for getting help. In a situation when you feel things are not right, you are not feeling yourself, but you are unsure what you might need to change. You can come to a therapist and get help with understanding what is it that you are battling with. You can have clear goals for treatment and clear idea on what you need or you can come and see what the therapist can help you with and you can agree on your goals together.
Psychology is a vast field with new therapy modules and approaches coming up and evolving all the time. If you are interested in exploring and learning more about various therapy options you need to do some research before choosing therapy. I will not be describing all the types of therapy here, as this would be way too long and I won’t be able to justly explain them. I simply don’t know the ins and outs of all the treatments available.
There are many types of therapy, many approaches and many therapists. There is not one right treatment. What you need to do is ask yourself the question ‘what is the right treatment for me?’
I will try to help you zoom in on the answer but the exact circumstances, history or scope of your particular challenge is not known to me. Take this post as a first step of finding out the answer and dive deeper.
Words like counselling, psychotherapy, talking therapy are often used as synonyms. But they might not necessarily mean the same. Some therapies are structured, some are focussed on the past, while others focus more on the ‘here and now’. Some will focus on relationships with others, some on understanding the problems and some on the goals and solutions to your problems.
The important thing is to identify what your problems are and then choose someone who can help you with them. Your can choose a person you feel you could open up to first and then agree on what you think you might need help with.
There are a few things to consider when selecting a therapy or a therapist.
Research
Check your therapist credentials by reading the information they say about themselves, description on the problems they help with, check their qualifications.
What courses they completed (University, accredited courses, how long were the courses). Years of experience in therapy, where did they work (e.g. working in established mental health services like NHS or BUPA).
Are they receiving regular supervision (this would mean they regularly check with others they are giving the best and most appropriate treatment for a person).
Are they insured and accredited? There are many professional organisations that check qualifications and experience and then provide their ‘seal of approval’ – accreditation. Those are usually national organisations that are for psychologists or psychotherapists. For example in the UK you would have British Psychological Society (BPS), British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP).
Ask
When you contact therapist you like, do not be afraid to ask questions. Ask them to show you their accreditations (if they are not on their website etc), ask what therapy entails.
As therapists we are used to answering questions about therapy and how it looks like, and we are glad when people ask about qualifications and knowledge – you are choosing a professional to help you, you need to be informed.
We are keen to answer all questions to the best of our ability as this means you are considering trusting us with your problems and are making sure there we are a right fit.
Discuss Costs and Time Frames
Some forms of therapy are open ended – you are going through a process and it can take a few years before it ends. Other forms of therapy are solution focussed or goal oriented and are enabling you to learn new techniques and skills so you can help yourself in the future. You decide when you feel you achieved your goals or have all the techniques you need to achieve goals yourself.
Discuss initial costs and booking procedures. Some therapists offer initial assessment for free (if you decide to continue treatment with them) and some others offer free or discounted consultation. Once you had an initial consultation or an assessment you can make an informed decision of what you want to do next.
When you speak with your therapist you should try to get as much information as possible. You need to find out what the treatment entails and how long the sessions will last. Finding out the length of treatment and the cost of each session will help you to estimate the total cost. You should also ask about the frequency of sessions to understand overall time needed to finish the treatment.
Don’t feel rushed to commit, but equally if you know you have been avoiding this and it really needs addressing – don’t delay.
Stay Attuned to Your Feelings
Sometimes therapy can be a very difficult process, it is very important for you to be in touch with your feelings, to be able to analyse and manage them.
You can have feelings around your therapy process. You might be dreading discussing certain topics, feeling anxious about talking about your worries. It is important to be able to identify your feelings and to analyse why they occurred. Sometimes occurring thoughts and feelings mean you are getting to the ‘core’ of problems or that your brain is trying to sabotage your efforts. It is important to share your feelings with the therapist, as those feelings are there for a reason.
It is okay not to be sure what you are feeling. As long as you are open with your therapist, they can help you identify feelings. Sometimes they might be more physical sensations or thoughts, and that’s ok too, we can look at them together and understand their meaning.
Hiding your feelings and going through the motions is pointless. This is your time and your journey. Let me give you a metaphor to explain.
You are going for a difficult trek up a hill. You invited someone to walk with you to help you climb that hill. The path you have chosen has some bushes, puddles and gravel stones. After few meters something fell into your shoe. You are not stopping to check your shoe, you are carrying on. The rest of the journey is getting more difficult, you are trying to keep a pleasant conversation, but you are focussing on the thing that is squishing and potential causing blisters on your foot. The companion notices your discomfort and asks if you are OK. You deny any problems and carry on with your journey. But you are not enjoying the journey. You might also get more things that fall in your shoe. If you don’t discuss this with your companion, they won’t be able to help you. And after all you chose them to accompany you on this journey for help and guidance.
If you don’t stop to investigate you won’t know what, how and why it’s affecting you.
Do not be afraid to discuss your feelings with therapist. We are used to talking about feelings, we can try and make sense of them with you, or just be there to listen so you can process them yourself.
You can have certain feelings towards your therapist – initially you are trying to see if you are a right match. Go with your gut feeling. If you don’t feel able to open up or trust that person, walk away and look for someone else.
Keep in mind that during the treatment therapist may need you to face certain challenges head on. This doesn’t mean they are against you, it might be a necessary step in the healing process. You will also have various feelings toward your therapist during therapy. Feelings like resentment (they are making you do things you avoided for a long time), anger, frustration. Some of those feelings are part of the process so it is important to look at them and work through them.
Goals
It’s important to have goals – what do you want to achieve by coming to therapy? E.g. manage your worries, manage stress, explore your relationships, work on communication or self esteem. Sometimes you can be confused of what you can change or what you can do to make yourself feel better. At the initial assessment you can just describe what is happening right now and therapist can suggest potential goals. You can see if they ‘feel right’, if addressing them would make you feel better and resolve your problems. You need to clarify your goals and have them clearly defined so that you know you are working towards achieving them. You can recognise the signs and feel motivated to carry on.
Carry On
Therapy is a difficult process, sometimes uncomfortable, and sometimes it can be emotionally painful. It is really important that you try and ‘stick with it’. See the whole process through. And if it’s not working for you, or you are unable to engage in it at the moment, be honest with yourself and your therapist. If there are practical obstacles your therapist might be able to assist you or help you find solutions. If it’s not working, not meeting your expectations – discuss this. It might be that the type of therapy is not the best match for you right now and your therapist can suggest alternatives.
Step by Step
Therapy is a process, a gradual change. Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself and acknowledge the small changes and achievements that you made. You also need to be prepared for setbacks – life happens and the new skills you have obtained need to be tested. You will have good and bad days. It’s important to set your expectations right.
There are many more things I could write about therapy, however I need to stop somewhere before it turns into a novel. 
Hope this helped you understand it a bit better and make it more approachable.